Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

blank

0 (0%)

blank

0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 0

[Sergeant Lyeman]

I dont know whats wrong with me anymore. Clearly its a lot of things but I just dont know anymore. My emotions are being triggered by who knows what, I completely exploded on this girl who tried to talk to me on xfire and I dont know why. Im dropping the ball in everything I do and I cant get a grip on it anymore. And I thought I was done crying for a while but last night obviously broke that, and Im noticing a huge spike in the instensities of my breakdowns as they come.

I cant thank Erikson enough for coming up with his table, its absolutely genius and its right. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosocial_development

you dont have to read the whole thing, just the stage titles give you a pretty good idea of what they mean. Out of the 8 stages I "passed" only the first and have failed every other stage so far. I have proof from my childhood that supports this, especially the shame part.

I wish I was never born. Why did it have to be me why couldnt it have been one of my brothers or sisters after I was concieved.  Why me

[Ryan Skywalker]

please don't do this again Lyeman

[Sergeant Lyeman]

Im not trying to kill myself but I was being mean to a lot of people lately  :'( and I cant understand why

[Ryan Skywalker]

Im not trying to kill myself but I was being mean to a lot of people lately  :'( and I cant understand why

its just a bad week every one has them

[Sergeant Lyeman]

no, its not

the stars are not aligned to mess me up clearly something is happening and I cant find out what or why but its getting much much worse 

[Quantum Rain]

insanity like me? Eh, it happens, Lyeman. Trust me, it gets better.

[Sergeant Lyeman]

its not insanity. Something is getting at me and Ive spent all day trying to figure it out but I have no idea whatsoever and I cant take it anymore

[Quantum Rain]

Yeah, a bit odd, I know. Sometimes you feel that you want to pull your hair out, what I suggest is doing something that distracts you in a good way.

[Sergeant Lyeman]

pulling my hair out isnt the only thing I feel like doing

I fell like carving loser right into my arm

[Quantum Rain]

Hey, don't beat yourself up. I get emotional problems too, in fact, I've had problems in big crowds alone....there's not much one can do about it.

[Sergeant Lyeman]

but why

what is causing this

at first I was feeling better for a few weeks then I started to get kind of cocky and then angry and then absolutely pissed and now I wish I was never born

and no matter what happens bad or good its always a failure to me

[Quantum Rain]

Actually, I have had those same symptoms, and I had wished I was never born on several occasions in the past, as well as being cocky, angy, pissed off, sarcastic (still am in that case), it's just life. It'll end once you find it or something to draw your attention, what causes it is unknown to me however...

[Django (sunfalcon)]

plus at least your parents care about you (unlike my mother).   I've had those symptoms before too.

[Quantum Rain]

For me, I was upset about the situation on hand, or what had happened recently, for you it could be similiar...

[Sergeant Lyeman]

but nothings happened. Same old [censored] as any other day

[Quantum Rain]

Maybe that's the problem, I get aggitated at doing the same routine every day...

[Sergeant Lyeman]

Ive been doing the same freaking routine since I started school

[Quantum Rain]

Do something different after school then.

[Sergeant Lyeman]

umm

Lyeman + life = nothing

[Quantum Rain]

Uh, me+life=nothing. Not that different, lyeman. Just try something, read a book if you honestly have no life...

[Sapare]

Well you screwed up, and you really starting to annoy me. Just stop whining and do some thing about it, or don't. I don't care any more. But stop posting all this stuff, its annoying.

[Corusca Fire]

*slaps sapare silly*

The man is having emotional difficulties. Let him seek our advice.

I say pick a day. Maybe your parents will let you skip school. Go over everything that has happened, and attempt to identify a common theme. If you want to, you can test your findings by asking your parents to randomly initiate that instigating theme at a random time over the next week. Once you find the problem, look for ways to counter or avoid it. I can help you at any point. Just PM me or post here.

[Sapare]

I TRIED TO HELP HIM BEFORE. But he will not listen, so I don't care any more.

[Prototype]

Emotions can make a man do strange things.  It happens.

What im about to say, I say in the most honest and sincere way possible:
If you cant handle it and it's making you go crazy, then go ask your parents for some psychological help.  Explain how you feel to them and ask they help you by getting a psychiatrist.  Nothing wrong or shameful about it.  If it helps it helps and your parents have the responsibility of taking care of you.  We however, are not professionals in that area.  This is a forum for a game, please seek help outside of us.

[Sarcastic]

Whew... had a feeling something was wrong last night after that Crackdown topic.

Just good to know you understand you have a problem. You'll get out of the funk.

[Sergeant Lyeman]

well I just talked to my old "friend" s-t-n last night and he was all mad and then I realized that at least I aknowledge that I have a problem and I dont just get all pissy at people when things arent going well. And I dont point fingers at people for my problems either

we all manage to look on the brightside.

really cause thats not the impression I got after your last line

now, kindly stfu and go back to your oh so bad life.

how positive

[Solar]

Take a break to sort out your life. Don't make us force you to leave.

[Doktor von Wer]

Kyle you were quite depressed when I first started talking to you and I presumed it was a one off kind of thing...

But since it keeps happening I can only assume you've got a psychological problem, at least a temporary one caused by your environment. Before you get upset it's not an insult, nor does it mean I think you're mad, but you seem to have periods of what seems like depression and maybe you should just take some time to, as I believe Americans say, 'Chill out'. If after a while just spending some time relaxing and sensibly reasoning through your problems you still feel unhappy, then I'd suggest you need to talk to some people you can trust about it because we can't really know what you're going through.

However bad you think it can be, it can always be worse, and furthermore it's often better than you think.

And I got your PM; I don't hate you I just didn't have time to talk about Catholics and Purgatory because I'd end up writing a full critique of the belief in purgatory as a spiritual location!

[Lord of the Night]

I agree with chris, maybe some psychological help could be good

[s-t-n]

well I just talked to my old "friend" s-t-n last night and he was all mad and then I realized that at least I aknowledge that I have a problem and I dont just get all pissy at people when things arent going well. And I dont point fingers at people for my problems either
really cause thats not the impression I got after your last line
  how positive

all right, now im pissed. since lyemans decided to do this, ill take it one step further. heres the whole ************* conversation.

thought I'd brighten your day a little.

http://www.ultimate-Empire-at-war.com/forum/index.php/topic,5506.0.html

oh, ha ha ha seriously lyeman, you should know by now that isnt what "brightens my day".

you seem to enjoy causing people pain pretty well

just wanted to show you the rewards of your labor

whatever lyeman. im too tired and busy to be dealing with this. ive got enough [censored] of my own to be dealing with.

oh yeah because when Im tired and busy the first thing I do is come on UEAW to socialize

actually, it was because i was PMing reynolds and nameless with a soundtrack spoiler. but feel free to keep throwing accusations.

do you want to know what it is about you that actually pisses me off?

Ive been wondering that for what 6-7 months now

would you like me to tell you why you piss me off

its because you honestly believe you have a [censored] enough life to warrant all this depressive talk. you wouldnt know [censored] if it hit you in the face.

i can off the top of my head come up with 2 people, 3 including me, who have things 10 times worse than you. yet we all manage to look on the brightside. heres a prime example

(NAME BLANKED OUT):- [censored] assault at 14, punched by close friend( HE then stole her £150 camera) (knocked unconcious), Punched by Emo Lad (knocked unconcious), punched by first person again (knocked unconcious), falsly arrested and had to spend 2 days in a cell before rectified, [censored] assault by 6 men on a train (2 days after this christmas), betrayal by 4 close friends.

now, kindly stfu and go back to your oh so bad life.

(The censored in that example are sex*ual)(sorry for censor bypass, but doesnt make sence without)

I found that rather funny: "stfu Im positive"

leave it to you to assume things you dont know. You have no idea what kind of crap I say that I dont tell anyone. My pain is mostly mental. But some of it physical. For example I've had my computer crash, then had to start over, then comp had to be wiped, and since I had gotten the new comp, I kept all my files on a flash drive, which convenientley broke.

After destroying myself twice and storing my emotions inside myself they were broken out by a certain egotistical son of a [censored]

then I go to the psychologist, who calls my parents and recommends therapy, parents do nothing because they think Im fine. Everybody in rl thinks Im fine.

And everybody hates me for trying to help people; thats fun, dedicating my life to something and failing,t hen being mocked to no end because they think its funny.

That was good actually, s-t-n's ticked now. Shows that you are a real person after all and not just some AI determined to be a complete [censored]. congratulations you exist

you really do not get this at all. heres a saying you may have heard. [censored] happens. deal with it.

if you think ANY of that is worth even 1 moan, your wrong. I thought my example would be enough to show you that. Clearly not. Im off, before i say something ill regret. i may leave you a PM tomorrow.

I have a feeling that pm would be the most rude thing I'd ever heard. Do YOU really think you have reason to [censored] at people? Heres where i beat you. People criticize me and hate me but I dont hate them back

and I dont hate you. Now grow up. Kids hold grudges.

whatever lyeman (blocks, as your not worth the effort)

[Lord of the Night]

s-t-n leave him alone, lyeman id try therapy (greatly helped me out a long while ago)

[Doktor von Wer]

I'd also try an s-t-n replica voodoo doll.

[Ryan Skywalker]

s-t-n stop being an [censored] and leave Lyeman alone

[s-t-n]

s-t-n leave him alone, lyeman id try therapy (greatly helped me out a long while ago)

you have no idea how furious i am at lyeman greivous. i thought we had come to some form of "truce" and were talking as if nothing had happened, back hen we were friends, but then he turns round and tries to drag my name through the mud!

4 words to letting him ruin my hard-earned reputation. rearrange "dead body over my".

and for the record, i spent MONTHS trying to help lyeman.

[Lord of the Night]

you have no idea how furious i am at lyeman greivous. i thought we had come to some form of "truce" and were talking as if nothing had happened, back hen we were friends, but then he turns round and tries to drag my name through the mud!

4 words to letting him ruin my hard-earned reputation. rearrange "dead body over my".

and for the record, i spent MONTHS trying to help lyeman.

Hmm fair enough then, sorry

[Doktor von Wer]

and for the record, i spent MONTHS trying to help lyeman.

Did helping him include trying to make him relinquish his faith? Because it used to...

[s-t-n]

Did helping him include trying to make him relinquish his faith? Because it used to...

i knew lyeman long before that, and we never once spoke of religion. that was when i gave up trying to help him.

and im sterilising my account now until doro can confirm the deletion (IE deleting all info, and typing random letters to copy and paste into the password) so there really is no point contacting me.

[Solar]

You want this topic gone? I didn't quite understand that.

[Doktor von Wer]

No Solar, this isn't one of those times to use fancy moderator powaz 

He's having his account wiped... It's an s-t-n thing.

[Sergeant Lyeman]

your hard earned reputation is nothing if you do [censored] to people behind everyone eleses back when theyre not looking. I wish I had my MSN chat logs because then I’d show everyone what a complete [censored] you are. I haven’t tried to “soil” your reputation, you blew it yourself with your FW stuff and constant [censored]. Just because youre nice sometimes does not make you a good person. At least I admit I have problems. And when I have them I don’t get all pissy at other people who ask questions

AND WHEN DID YOU TRY TO [censored] HELP ME THE ONLY THING I REMEMBER IS YOUR CONSTANT “TEASING” AS YOU CALL IT. DON’T EVEN DARE TRY TO SAY YOU HELPED ME. THAT IS THE BIGGEST [censored] LIE I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. IF IT WAS UP TO YOU, EVEN BEFORE THIS, YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED TO TORTURE ME AND BREAK ME.

And if you still hate me like a little child then wait until I hold my promise and box with you. Unlike you I do keep my promises. Beat me up. Give me a black eye to show Chris.

And most importantly grow up. If Im not worth your time then why are you even posting in this topic. Oh wait, since your little reputation is soiled then youre going to take it out on a person who you think is responsible for your problems.

lastly: youre obsessed with your little reputation which you just blew on this page of this topic. You sound like that really caring person that you keep trying to advertise.

To the people who actually care: I think Im going to try drawing to keep myself from getting bored. And I get something out of it so I know Im not just doing random crap for my enjoyment (or rotting away in front of my dvd player  )

[Corusca Fire]

Lyeman, just ignore anyone and everyone who has the slightest chance of really pissing you off. And guys, yall are not helping the situation whatsoever. Be nice or get a life


I say pick a day. Maybe your parents will let you skip school. Go over everything that has happened, and attempt to identify a common theme. If you want to, you can test your findings by asking your parents to randomly initiate that instigating theme at a random time over the next week. Once you find the problem, look for ways to counter or avoid it. I can help you at any point. Just PM me or post here.

[Prototype]

You shouldn't have posted mixed partial information of a private converstaion between you and s-t-n.  To be equally fair, s-t-n posting the entire private conversation was a bit of a low blow too.

...I dont just get all pissy at people when things arent going well. And I dont point fingers at people for my problems either

True, but you have no problem continually sharing your depressive feelings with everyone.  Think outside the box for a moment and think that there’s a chance we are getting tired of it.  I think mostly everyone has at least tried once to encourage you, so continuously making new topics about your latest depression is getting old.  If you are not going to listen to us, go somewhere else.  Enough with the arguing, enough with the depressive topics, enough already.  PM a friend on the forums, go listen to some music to release your feelings, to go a church and ask a youth pastor for advice, find a real person local in your area with similar interest and develop SOCIAL SKILLS all for the sake to help yourself.

[Corusca Fire]

This has been going on for that long? Wow, im newer here than i thought...

[Sergeant Lyeman]

Proto I started this topic to explain why I was being such a jerk lately (especially to Krystal)

@ Corsica: idk about skipping school, I know you mean to help but I just dont think skipping school to figure this out is a bit extreme. I think I just need to find a hobby. As for what, well Im still working on that

[Sapare]

i knew lyeman long before that, and we never once spoke of religion. that was when i gave up trying to help him.

and im sterilising my account now until doro can confirm the deletion (IE deleting all info, and typing random letters to copy and paste into the password) so there really is no point contacting me.

From what I heard I side with S-T-N here, Lyeman was the one who just seemed to look for a fight. And people have it way worse then him, yet he keeps whining and I myself tried to help him. But Lyeman does not seem to listen to any one any way, and then even gets mad. Also your sens of "helping" some one, seems to be to annoy them with religious crap.(toward to Lyeman)
I agree, I don't really like S-T-N he was an [censored] toward me, but I can't talk against him, he is completly right, its Lyemans fault. And as faster as you guys see that and stop to try to help him. The faster he is going to freaking do some thing about it. I for one think that Lyeman is doing all this whining, because he wants people to listen to him and care about him, because he is to lazy to make friends.
Thats why I personality started to dislike Lyeman.(and be cause he is WAY to annoying with his religious stuff. I'm OK with any religion, but there is no need for him to batter it in.)

[Corusca Fire]

Depressed people are often DRIVEN to pick fights with those they perceive as having a part in causing their emotional distress. Its a well documented and acknowledged side effect, and, if controlled, can be used to great effect by the depressed person to identify problems and themes.

[Sage]

Dude, why can't you just tell me why you're so worked up over her..

[Sergeant Lyeman]

ok Sapare now youre starting to annoy be by posting why you dont like me in every friggin topic

as for religion: I havent *forced* it on anyone as a long time. I like to talk about it but as you can see I rarely do so in public. And I get absolutely pissed off when people make fun of it, idk why you think Im such a prick about it, think of the thing you love most and then imagine people constantly making fun of it.

I have no idea whatsoever how you came to the assumption that Im too lazy to make friends. I can't seem to make them because I'm afraid of people.

Yes I sort of was looking for a fight when I PMed s-t-n but heres why: he started me down this whole thing, and if you have or havent noticed he seems to enjoy causing people distress, so I basically told him "well look what you did. You should be proud" to show him that what he did to me is having a lasting effect.

idk why you think I dont listen to anybody. I know you guys love me. Every night WHEN I PRAY I say something along the lines of "I pray for my friends, because I love them, and they love me too."

And trust me I dont want to be the center of attention. FOR THE LAST TIME I STARTED THIS TOPIC TO APOLOGIZE FOR BEING A JERK. I AM TRYING TO EXPLAIN MY SITUATION NOT WHINE ABOUT IT

the reason I am starting to dislike Sapare is because he assumes things about people and no matter of reasoning can seem to convince him that he is wrong.

and as people say Sapare, if you dont have anything nice to say, then dont say it at all. Go away. You annoy me just as much. Youre way too opinionated. And since you dont seem to realize this, other people have feelings too.

And for the last time if my computer hadnt been wiped then s-t-n would have a surefire reason to cry about his reputation.

[D]

seriously man, the best thing you can do is stop talking about it on a forum or computer and go talk to someone in person. preferably a psychiatrist or psychologist. They can help, several of my friends have gotten through some rough patches with their help, and you shouldnt worry about any kind of stigma or anything.

this is a forum so i am not going to ask about your age, but if you are a teenager all i can tell you dude is that biology can seriously mess with your mind when there is nothing really worth getting upset about, so dont do anything stupid and chill.

and just let this thing with s-t-n go. i mean i really dislike viper (like really loathe his annoying "arguements") but sometimes you just have to let things slide and be the better man.

and as for people, they arent that scary. trust me. i know alot of them. even the ones that i should be scared of. but usually they aint that bad.

[Sapare]

But thats joust what you do, You "EXPLAIN" why you such a jerk, but you just doing that so people feel sorry for you. And you being to afraid to make friends, its just a lame excuse you might not even know you doing. And you do not listen to people, every one tells you to talk to your parents, but you never do! And I'm joust saying some thing not nice because I'm trying to help you. You where the one always whining and asking why people do not like you, I try to tell you, and what do you do? Start to be mad at me, instead of doing some thing about it. And you really need to accepted and see the trues, not every thing is always nice.

This was my last post about this topic, for any time I can see.

[Sergeant Lyeman]

I was not trying to make people feel sorry for me. I hate being the center of attention but I was being really mean and I think the peeps deserve to know why

and believe it or not I have talked to my parents Sapare, way to assume stuff again. I found out that my dad has some kind of anxiety disorder that he takes pills for every morning and that even to this day he still thinks about killing himself from time to time.

[Sage]

Just tell us..

[Sergeant Lyeman]

here s-t-n. *offers handshake*

[Fore Admiral Disayle]

Well you screwed up, and you really starting to annoy me. Just stop whining and do some thing about it, or don't. I don't care any more. But stop posting all this stuff, its annoying.

But thats joust what you do, You "EXPLAIN" why you such a jerk, but you just doing that so people feel sorry for you. And you being to afraid to make friends, its just a lame excuse you might not even know you doing. And you do not listen to people, every one tells you to talk to your parents, but you never do! And I'm joust saying some thing not nice because I'm trying to help you. You where the one always whining and asking why people do not like you, I try to tell you, and what do you do? Start to be mad at me, instead of doing some thing about it. And you really need to accepted and see the trues, not every thing is always nice.

This was my last post about this topic, for any time I can see.

LUKAS! Stop beating up on the poor man. It's not going to help.

I was not trying to make people feel sorry for me. I hate being the center of attention but I was being really mean and I think the peeps deserve to know why

and believe it or not I have talked to my parents Sapare, way to assume stuff again. I found out that my dad has some kind of anxiety disorder that he takes pills for every morning and that even to this day he still thinks about killing himself from time to time.

Anxiety disorder? So? That doesn't mean it affects you. Take me, for example: My parents both hate fish, and yet I love it. My dad is a computer tech/writer, and my mom is a lawyer. I have my path set on being an ornithologist (bird scientist).

To repeat something I said long ago, it's not about who your parents are, or what they are like, or anything. It's the unique things you possess as a human being that matter.

And what about your cyber-sis? Talk to her, I'm sure you'll feel better.

[Sergeant Lyeman]

Anxiety disorder? So? That doesn't mean it affects you. Take me, for example: My parents both hate fish, and yet I love it. My dad is a computer tech/writer, and my mom is a lawyer. I have my path set on being an ornithologist (bird scientist).

To repeat something I said long ago, it's not about who your parents are, or what they are like, or anything. It's the unique things you possess as a human being that matter.

I just told him that to prove that I did. No I dont think that Im to do everything exactly like my parents. My mom says Im more like my dad but he hates talking to people even just ordering pizza or answering the door but I keep my cool most of the time

And what about your cyber-sis? Talk to her, I'm sure you'll feel better.

I want to, idk when shes on though and she hasnt been on much lately

btw ty for not being mad

[Fore Admiral Disayle]

he hates talking to people even just ordering pizza or answering the door but I keep my cool most of the time

You see!

I want to, idk when shes on though and she hasnt been on much lately

Perhaps end-of-semester craziness has been keeping her away. I know IT has for me...freshman finals...X(

btw ty for not being mad

You're welcome. I seem to have a lot of patience in matters like this, don't know why.

Also...did I forget to mention that people with low self-esteem make better lovers?

Alright, I have to go. But I hope you'll find some comfort in this:

OBAMA LAMA!

[Sergeant Lyeman]

oh yeah I completely forgot to say this but I really think that the day I do find that special girl then I'll we'll be in much better shape because then we wouldnt have to face our problems alone (for the most part) anymore